"In my line of work I get to see lots of different people".

This is what you'd expect to hear from someone who stands at the front door of a large electronics retailer. But the truth is ... I just see lots of people from the same cultural niches. I suppose it would interesting to note differences in people, but since much of the customer base is homogeneous, it's easier and more fun to note the similarities.

Among the homogeneous groups that frequent my establishment are the aforementioned "tools"; also known as Frat Boys. A few months ago I compiled a list of attributes that define the so-stated "tools". In the future I'll be sure to make an accurate profile of the "eye-candy", a.k.a. Sorority Girls. Anyway, I thought I'd share with you the profile I compiled on "How to dress like a massive TOOL". Keep in mind this is not neccessarily humor, but a fairly accurate description of casual frat garb.

HOW TO DRESS LIKE A MASSIVE TOOL

1.) Reef flip-flop sandals.

2.) Tropical board shorts

or

2a.) Cargo shorts/pants

3.) Generic T-shirt (must have logo/Frat letters)

4.) Fitted baseball cap turned backward

or

4a.) Visor with sunglasses resting on top

5.) Short haircut with hair sticking up in front

6.) Expensive watch given as present from father/father figure

Yes, if you follow this list you too can dress like a massive tool and finally be accepted as the Frat drone that you've always wanted to be ... uh, I mean Frat dick, .... I mean Frat Brother. Yeah, that's it, Frat Brother.

Hopefully, I have helped some of you confused frat-impaired young men. My goal is to entertain and assist. So stayed tuned as Uncle Nick brings you more stories and issues of horror from the college town that never sleeps (except when there's a break from classes).