Apparently I'm a schmuck because I haven't updated. Actually, according to certain sources, I'm just a schmuck. But I'm a flu-ridden schmuck nonetheless. After watching episodes of Married With Children, Titus, Family Guy, The Simpsons, All in the Family, Malcom in the Middle, and the Twilight Zone I believe more and more that my childhood would have made a hilarious dramatic comedy. Or maybe a sadistically morose comedic drama.
"Mike, I'm taking the kids today"!
"Deb, they have school ... you're not taking them anywhere"!
"Blah blah blah", fighting....
"More blah blah blah", Mom throws hot coffee into my dad's face.
Yeah, as you can tell my dad always had a special place in his heart for my mom, actually he had a special place in his heart for the burn ward of the Jax Mayo Clinic. And I always had a place in my heart for female Child Services officer and her form of standarized questions.
Life wasn't as bad as it seems. I mean, come on, how many kids can say that they were kidnapped and forced to hide on a boat for a summer vacation, eh? Life growing up in the Rose household was like an episode of some outrageous FOX sitcom. Maybe that's why I was always drawn to dysfunctional family television shows.
I could never understand what the appeal was in shows like the Andy Griffin Show, I Love Lucy, The Brady Bunch, The Wonder Years, etc. I actually thought families like those were the exceptions and not the rule. I'm still glad I wasn't raised in some Brady Bunch like family unit that I know my friends were akin to. I know that if I had I'd be boring and bland like the characters on the brady bunch. I think that the negative things in my life have defined me more as myself than the good events in my life. Not because they've caused me to be negative in any way, but because I've shown the resolve to continue in the opposite direction, the path that my life hasn't followed on a natural course. If I hadn't fought the negative forces in my life with my own intellectual weapons, I'm sure I'd just be another angst-monging school-shooting trenchcoat-wearing pathetic piece of trash white boy.
Damn it feels good to look back on my corrupted childhood with the fond memories of nostaglia usually reserved in watching a favorite sitcom.
Moral lesson today folks: Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, unless you're just weak and you let life beat you down.
