So here I go, off into the much-charted, yet misunderstood territory of pain and pain management. For those of you who don't know me, let me bring you up to speed.

A year ago I twisted my leg as a result of chasing a shoplifter at my job (as Loss Prevention) and discovered I had torn my ACL. Well, I went through the surgery, got great pain medications, and started my rehabilitation ... all nicely paid for by Workers Compensation Insurance. During rehab I started noticing sharp pains in my hip/pelvis and soon discovered that the injury also damaged blood vessels leading to my hip. And thus we are here with a wonderfully debilitating case of Avascular Necrosis or as I call it: Excrutiating fucking pain from my hip deteriorating!

Now, with that I am now waiting to find out when I will HAVE to get my hip replaced, what will happen before then, and yadda yadda yadda ... all the fun stuff!

In the meantime I have pain. Now I don't want pity and I don't care if you do give me pity, but pain is fucking painful. Sure, I know all pain hurts, but how many of you (and I mean those of you under 60) know what it's like to have pain all-the-time. I have a twenty-four hour convience store of pain operating in my hip; complete with annoying mismatched flourescent lights.

The upside to this never-fading parade of sharp stabbing sensations are the excuses I make for some asshole to get out of his seat so I can sit down ... and of being able to park right next to the door of any establishment I like.

The downside is the inevitable sharp stabbing sensations. I also have a problem with being now labeled a chronic pain sufferer. Or a CP survivor.

Fuck that.

With the realization that I will now have pain for the rest of my life to accompany the numerous hip replacements I'll need I decided to find what information I could and so I came across a support group (online, of course) for chronic pain and pain management. Now, I don't have a problem with the 65 and 72 year old men and women suffering from some hideous joint disease, but the assholes who list everything under the sun as their chronic pain ... "Hi, Im Blessing Flutterby from North Carolina and I suffere daily with sle,fms,cfs,ctd,copd,depression,anxiety,colitis, raynauds, pulmonary inflammation, spinal slippage, osteoporis, osteo-arthitis-emphesyma, migraines, regular headaches, and three bulging discs - I think that is all".

I mean come the fuck on! You know it's that 400 pound religious white woman from accounting who can't do without her hourly kit-kat and daily pity-party who cries herself to sleep with her kittens. A shoplifting bum threw me into a goddamn van! Give me the painkillers and pity ... give her a fucking soloflex.